It seems that we live in a society and in an age where wants are often not distinguished from needs. Once primarily referred to as citizens, then voters and now consumers, this change in terminology underscores the promoted obligation to consume to keep the economy going and to keep people employed. As such, consuming is good and noble. It is therefore an inherent characteristic of our society to stimulate wants and to also present them as needs so as to encourage consumption.
For those of you who have read Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World published in 1932, you may remember that his dystopian picture of a future society has the government encouraging any leisure activities that involve the heavy purchasing of equipment and discouraging activities that do not. His other predictions included big screen entertainment in ultra high definition with enhanced sound and the use of pharmaceuticals to constantly monitor and enhance moods. Huxley maintained quite correctly that it is easier to change people’s perception of reality than it is to change reality. Presently, self-medication in all of its variously approved and not so approved forms can be seen as ready substitutes for Huxley’s government issued and endorsed soma tablets. If then, (a) it is clearly much more difficult to change society and social reality than it is to change human beings and (b) that emotions and moods can be engineered through chemical substances found in nature or manufactured in a lab then does it not necessarily follow that (c ) if the purpose of life is simply to increase pleasure and decrease displeasure, how does it matter how that is achieved?
The irony presented by Huxley is that it may be possible for a future society to maintain stability and order not through coercion or fear as occurs in George Orwell’s 1984 published in 1948 but through the channelling of emotions and desires in ways that remove frustration, competition, possessiveness and sadness. That said, what kind of human existence remains. Huxley’s outcast savage longs to feel the emotions portrayed in Shakespeare’s plays while Lenina, the object of his passion, merely wishes to engage in sexual athletics and soma tablets. Predictably, this results in an unsatisfactory relationship for both parties. where neither can understand the other. And so we are lead back to a dialectical view of reality in which all emotions derive meaning from their opposites the experience of which is fundamental to the depth and profundity of life.
The world of Opera is an interesting insight into this reality. Few operas end well. They invariably conclude with the tragic death of the leading figure or figures most commonly through actions of extreme passion that include hatred, jealousy and the desire for revenge. Most operas, other than perhaps Mozart’s The Marriage of Figaro, are unapologetic expressions of human emotion over reason combined with the embracing of the tragic consequences of following that path. One of my favourite operas had inspiring music that I thought suggestive of some transcendent spiritual expression. I was confounded to later learn from a translation of the Italian that it served as the backdrop for two Sicilian males stabbing each other to death in the village market place over the possession of the same girl. The music had never suggested that to me but clearly it was considered appropriate by the composer. But perhaps the world of opera should be understood not as a window into the world as it is or should be, but rather as a holiday from the real world of restraint and order where instead emotions are given free reign to play themselves out within the safe context of a stage.
Of course opera is not the only example that one can find of the vicarious indulgence of emotions. Horror movies provide similar outlets for the contained and controlled response to situations that in real life we would avoid at all costs. The sense of control derived from the eventual realization that it is just a movie can be the same as waking up from a nightmare with the realization that it is just a dream. Whereas a little learning may be a dangerous thing, perhaps a little terror is our way of preparing us for it.
All of us are presented at birth with a virtual palette of emotions through which to experience and express our interaction with the world as it is presented. Reason develops as a means to navigate, predict and seemingly control that reality and it is quickly enlisted in the support of various strategies to help us get what we want. Childhood is characterized by focusing on parents or caregivers to fulfill wants. The passage to adulthood involves the successful adaptation of behaviour to secure wants independent of the family and by engaging the outside world. In order to promote this adaptation, good parenting must therefore gradually reduce the child’s dependence on them in order to promote independence as adults.
With respect to parenting, few approach it with the appropriate degree of humility and apprehension. In this instance, nature has ensured that we rarely pause before we leap. Everyone, it seems, prior to being a parent sees themselves as experts. Since all adults have experienced childhood, the matter is simple. One merely needs to reproduce those good things that one experienced and remove the bad things — normally interpreted as those things our parents did not supply to us on demand. It is this attitude whether consciously expressed or subconsciously assumed that governs parenting. The same can be said to be the even case of educational theorists. However, the quest for perfection involves removing frustrations and hardships by making childhood more comfortable which is translated into increasing the satisfaction of wants. Many well intentioned parents have embarked upon their mission with this philosophy only to find that the product of their efforts greatly disappoints their expectations.
At the biological level, children who experience some exposure to infections are able to develop the antibodies necessary to fight off diseases in later life. Indeed, the entire theory behind the practice of vaccines is to use a controlled amount of a given bacteria to stimulate the response of antibodies required to fight it. In like manner, the frustrations and emotional hardships of youth can stimulate the necessary responses to overcome and transcend them. We normally refer to this as character.
I would therefore suggest to you the ironic but nonetheless true assertion that it is the very imperfections of childhood that create adults of character, determination and purpose. In my own personal experience as an educator, I have found dealing with the emotional impact of failure and frustration while growing up to be an essential part of avoiding it as an adult or coping with it when it became unavoidable. Many students who float through high school with high marks and consistent validation find themselves emotionally devastated by inferior results in first year of university or college. The big fish in the small pond may approach the lake with confidence but rarely sustains it without a struggle. This is equally true of the transition from the lake into the ocean.
Problems in adolescence provide the opportunity to foster the development of self-confidence and the ability to internalize the self-discipline required to legitimately promote it. In a manner of speaking, like the oyster, these experiences can form the irritant required to form the pearl. As another saying expresses it, one can turn lemons into lemonade. The inevitable experience of hardships and frustration during childhood and adolescence provide opportunities for growth. While the love and security within the family can support this, it can also sometimes be misapplied to insulate children from these experiences to such an extent that they are incapable of the emotional resiliency required of them in later life.
It could be argued that the current phenomenon of the rapid growth of mental illness in North America is a direct result of a style of life and parenting where many children have never had so much and be deprived of so little. As a result, they have failed to develop the skills required to survive. The struggles and frustrations avoided in childhood are pushed forward into adulthood. The entitlement derived from security, comfort and consistent praise create a level of emotional sensitivity than is inconsistent with emotional stability. We now live in a society where everyone is a victim of someone else’s injustice either in the present or in the past and where a false sense of moral perfection is imposed upon the human race as a normative standard. The sensitivities of others have become the emotional minefield of modern living in the West while our own sensitivities undermine our own ability to sustain mental stability.
Where individualism is equatable with selfishness, true individualism will cease to exist. Conforming to the lowest standards of human behaviour breeds a consistency of expectation and outcome. Human exceptionality, on the other hand, by its very definition consists precisely in the opposite. Reading the biographies and autobiographies of extraordinary individuals yields a common theme, that overcoming obstacles breeds strength of character. Strength of character on the other hand seems to be derived from the innate stubbornness that all youth possess in abundance but which is all too often misdirected. When correctly directed what can be a weakness becomes a strength. What is potentially the sources of great weakness can be transformed into sources of great strength.
In closing therefore, I would like to leave you with the following thoughts. Those who struggle in adolescence both socially and academically are provided with an opportunity to emerge from that experience stronger than they entered it. In so doing, they not only have the prospect of earning a better future, but also equipping themselves with the qualities to not only support themselves but others. Success cannot be given but must be earned. Self-confidence cannot depend upon constant validation from others but must ultimately be derived from self-validation derived from objective self-evaluation. Hence competition and a just assessment of one’s own strengths and weakness relative to others is an essential part of this development. The belief that others have successfully met these challenges is the true stimulus for action. If they can do it so can you.
Life is perhaps best seen as a series of challenges with occasional periods of rest or relief the purpose of which is to gain the needed strength and resolve to continue. Whereas the warp and weft of emotion and reason may form the fabric of life, the ultimate design of the cloth is in our hands to create.